I wanted to write all about our adventure yesterday, but my exhaustion coupled with the fact that I'd be writing everything on my little iPod scared me away from any attempt. Now I have two days of awesomeness that I want to share, which is even more daunting.
Every day I think about my family and friends who would enjoy being here too and, if I could i just wouldn't be able to resist flying people out here. Traveling, being in a new place no matter where it is, it's just so invigorating. I've only been here four days and it feels like I've lived here for months, in the best way. And my appetite for experiencing more of this city, this state, this country, the world for that matter, is growing, it feels insatiable. I love it.
Kaligat Temple:
Yesterday we went to the famous Kali temple, in Kaligat, which is only about a ten minute walk from our rental, which is also in the town of Kaligat. I saw my first dead human body and I also saw an animal being killed for the first time. I wasn't traumatized by it either: I'm a life long vegetarian who does not support the meat industry for ethical, spiritual, and environmental reasons, yet I was unexpectedly reassured by what I saw. I saw the sacrifice of a goat to the goddess Kali, and the goat was fully conscious yet completely calm. The death was so swift and there was no painful heart breaking struggle or panic filled bleating whatsoever. And I've seen a lot of animal killing for meat in documentaries about the world meat industries. They are shocking, horrendous, and heart wrenching (to me at least).
At this sacrifice however, Everything was just so surprisingly peaceful, particularly since I had always imagined a Kali animal sacrifice to be violent and blood drenched - a Brahmin with red rimmed eyes in a state of fervent ecstasy booming mantras amid a wild pounding of drums and clashing of cymbals, with the poor living being to be sacrificed against it's will wailing and bleating as its face contorts in fear and it's body turns rigid with terror and as the sword slices the head off the murdered victim, the weapon's metallic ringing bounces off the walls in a nightmarish echo. Maybe in some classic Indiana Jones scene... Yes, there was a Brahmin, a goat who baah'ed once or twice, there was a mini guillotine, and some ominous drumming right after the sacrifice. Other than that, it was all quite solemn, even the goat seemed to be compliant and thank god the sacrifice itself was so swift it was done before I realized it had started. Although I would never sacrifice an animal myself, I felt that i just had to witness this, face the reality of something that has gone on in cultures around the world for thousands of years. Whether I agree with it or not, it's happening every day, right down the road from where I am staying and I felt it was the honest thing to do to expose myself to it. And I was, after all, at the most famous Kali temple in the world, I needed to get the full cultural and religious experience, especially in light of the fact that we got royally ripped off there.
Now that I'm on that topic... Royally isn't even a drastic enough word! I despise being ripped off, being taken advantage of, being sheistered. I was just feeling so full of good will, and generosity, and trust, and naiveté. Plus Rebecca and I had just been battered by the throngs of worshippers ruthlessly pushing and shoving in the temple hall for a moments glance at the three eyed, red tongued, black skinned, wild haired goddess. I was overwhelmed, winded, and feeling a tide of belief and superstition rumbling within me. Two young men, brahmin's assistants, offered to bring us directly to the front without waiting in the outrageously long line. That's pretty typical, I've been to lots temples before where this is done, and Rebecca and I also had very limited time so we decided to take them up on their offer. They told us that it would be 100 rupees each. Neither of us knew any better, rebecca's never even been inside an active Indian temple and, whiIe have, it's been 6 years since I've last been to India and I have no idea what the fair rates are any more. Before entering the temple compound, Rebecca and I had each purchased a hibiscus garland at one of the many flower stalls lining the road on the way to the temple. Right before we had darshan (worshipful viewing) of the deity, our guides pulled a flower from each of our garlands and said prayers asking intermittently what our names are and what our mother's names are. Then they instructed us to throw the flower at the alter of the deity after ourselves saying our own and our mother's names. Once we were out, they brought us to an outer section of the temple and had a brahmin say prayers with his hands atop our heads, he again asked the ours and our mother's names, then in English finished off with, "may you have a good education, a good career, and a good marriage." after finishing, he requested a donation of 1100 rupees ( approx $22) to feed the destitute, he said that's how much a bag of rice costs. Now I wanted to offer something, maybe 100 rupees, because I was feeling generous as well as superstitious, plus I'm still suffering from newly-arrived-in-India, want-to-save-the-world, oh-my-god-people-are-living-in-horrendous-poverty, my-poor-sorry-ass-is-disgustingly-wealthy-in-comparison, what-can-I-do-to-help syndrome. So I pulled out what I thought was 100 (2$) and it turned out to be 500 ($10) and I felt like he already saw it and it must be fate or something , so I handed it over to him. Damnit! But I didnt think that quite yet. And then we were given prasad (food offered to the deity with prayers and devotion) and witnessed the goat sacrifice.
During the sacrifice I saw a dirty 5 year old in the crowd wearing only underwear. If you know me, you know that children are amongst my biggest weakness, especially suffering ones. my maternal protective instinct gets unleashed in a torrential rain of affection. So I pulled out some rupees from my purse and put them into his small adorable unsuspecting hands. I fell in love with that little boy. And as I walked away, I thought, "a few rupees? My god, that isn't enough! Where is that little boy? I need to give him more!" what I really wanted to do is scoop him up in my arms, give him a good bath, feed him, shower him with love and figure out what to do to get him out of this damnable poverty. Of course as soon as I turned my head, there he was, following us. I already had more rupees ready, so I placed them in his hand. Alright, I've been to India four times before, I know better. Who knows where that money is going to go, it could be handed over to an abusive alcoholic parent, and what good will that tiny bit do? And what I know even more is that this kid is going to follow us all the way back home asking for more. But I can't help it! Those baby cheeks, those large glistening eyes, those small little hands, that cute chubby belly - it just turns me into putty and I throw all caution to the winds. Of course, down the road i had to ask Rebecca to gently request the little bugger in her fluent bengali to go back. I've never seen a poverty stricken Indian child respond so cooperatively. Usually they just get more pushy and aggressive. Perhaps he was so surprised by hearing a white girl speak so fluently in his own language and with such gentleness and grace as she did that he couldn't help but honor her request. Maybe he's just the sweetest, most adorable, most gentle and vulnerable child in the world. Anyway, that is honestly the first time I've experienced that kind of cooperation. Usually they just collect their friends and suddenly you're mobbed with children tapping and crowding and hounding you, like you're the pied piper or something. I always regret it when that happens, but I still do it anyway.
Back to the topic of money. So as we were leaving our guides decided to request 500 rupees rather than then 200 formerly agreed upon, and go damnit, I gave it to them! Whyyyyy!? I have no idea. And then the shoe guy outside of the temple, the one who guards your shoes, I handed him 10rupees cuz you're supposed to give them a tip, it should have been more like 2-4rupees, and then he had the gall to request 20... And I gave it to him! I have no idea what come over me during our trip to the Kaligat temple, but what I handed over each step of the way was exorbitantly huge sums compared to the normal amount. To prove my point, when I was talking to our neighbor about our trip and began by telling her that we had agreed to pay 100 rupees each for darshan, she was so horrified by that 'outrageous' sum, that I didn't have the guts to tell her that we had actually ended up paying 250 each!
Wedding sarees
We have done so much. We've been shopping for wedding sarees and finally found one! I even found one that I would just die to wear, but, alas, I am not getting married. I wanted Rebecca to want that one so I could enjoy seeing someone else wear it, but I set my selfishness aside and helped her find one that she loved and was just her style. We've been shopping for wedding sarees ever since I got here. It hasn't been easy. Abhijeet doesn't come with us, and I think the shopkeepers don't quite believe us when we request wedding sarees. SometimThey keep thinking were asking for a saree to wear to a wedding. And they even giggle at us. when they do show us wedding sarees, we find them stiff and gaudy and for whatever reasons the shopkeepers are not very forthcoming about showing us much of a selection. Up until this point we've both been rather mild, timid, and diffident. This time, 10 -15 minutes into it, after they only showed us a couple, I hit my hand onto the table and waved it around indicating "more!" finally! They began bringing out saree after saree and we found one that was perfect for her. Yay! Even abhijeet and his dad approved, which we weren't entirely sure about. There are so many little rules and norms that play into the purchase and wearing of wedding sarees, there are so many opinions and family members gossip and if it's not quite right this way or that way, it can cause a lot of unnecessary grief. Fortunately it looks like this one's a go! We're going to get the 'blouse' (choli) piece tailored to fit her precisely and get her wedding jewelry and the additional paraphernalia that is required for her to wear in the coming days.
College street
We bought rebecca's wedding saree on college street in the mahatma Gandhi road area of town where Kolkata university and multiple other colleges are. College street is also the Mecca for books. Practically every stall, every hole in the wall, every store front sells books. It's awesome. College street is rebecca's favorite part of town. I loved it too. The inside Of many of the stores still have victorian-british architecture and wooden carvings. The buildings all around this part of town, actually every part of Kolkata I've seen so far, is full of incredible architecture. Kolkata was defitintely once an absolutely stunning city. Now these gorgeous buildings are in some state of decay: mold, fallen rocks, garbage, etc. My god though, what I'd seriously give to go back in time for a day to see what this city used to look like. If you look at the 19th century British prints of Kolkata you'll know what I mean. Now everything's such a crowded mess, it's difficult to tell what's what. Both rebecca's and my family will love this part of town, since they're all a group of readers, librarians, and bookstore people. Her family is coming at the end of the month for her wedding, maybe I'll be able to bring my family one day. Rebecca's dad owns a bookstore in San Francisco called "bird and Beckett books and records" http://www.birdbeckett.com/. Both her brothers also help out there sometimes, I believe, and her oldest brother jack does the website and promotional materials: jackwhittington.com and vacantboard.com. He made rebecca's and abhijeets wedding invitations too, very clean and elegant: Rebeccaandabhijeet.com. My mom has a master's in library science with a focus in digital archiving and works at the university of California, Santa Cruz mchenry library. Basically it sounds like everyone in both our families are book lovers. Well, college street is every chaotic book lovers dream.
"India coffee house"
We also went to India Coffee House on bankim chatterjee (a famous Bengali poet) road, right off of college street. This is the same place that revolutionaries, freedom figters and bohemians used to congregate in the pre independence india (at least that's what my guidebook said). there are portraits of the dashingly handsome young rabindranath Tagore on the walls both upstairs and downstairs of this huge warehouse-like cafe. It was just packed with young people and their conversations echoed off the high walls creating a uproar of merged sounds. It was so packed we had to wait for a seat to open up and even then, when we weren't fast enough, other groups would find their seats, (they knew, unlike us, it wouldn't be available if they tarried for even a second). This place is the hub for educated Indian youth. There was also modern Indian art on the walls. Totally cool.
Another destitute child to love.
As we headed to the Kolkata metro station, we stopped to get some bottled water. Of course, an adorable little bow tapped lightly on my elbow and held out his little hand, staring up at me with that innocent vulnerable face children do so well. At this point I was burned out from $ giving after the Kali temple experience, so I thought, " what can I do for this boy that will give him a special experience without giving money?" so, I asked Rebecca to tell him to choose any sweet he wanted from the snack stand. He pointed to one tiny candy, then changed his mind and pointed to another tiny candy, then he looked onthe other side of the display table and finally decisively tapped the box holding the chocolate bars. It was so cute the way he did it, his face so solemn. So Rebecca and I bought him his chocolate bar and after having received it he swiftly disappeared in to the busy streets.
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